i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
