i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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