it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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