ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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