There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
