My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
