You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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