Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
