tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
