it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
