I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
