I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You made out with two different species that night
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
