out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
