he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Randomize
