my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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