I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize