So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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