He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
