Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
