If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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