After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
