does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
