guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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