just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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