My hand turned me down
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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