I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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