party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
