I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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