Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
