I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
