now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
