I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
