He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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