Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
