belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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