Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
