I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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