my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
