you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
