Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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