If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
