he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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