Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
