therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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