Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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