..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
