that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
