i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
