These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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