Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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