Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
