just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
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I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
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My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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