my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize