from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
