marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
